Before I get back to my adventures, let me share a lol with you.  This came from drunkcyclist.com and I just don’t know what to say…

Day 10, Tuesday.

I fell into a nasty habit of watching fire ants while waiting for my taxi after work. There was a concrete block that I would sit on, which was surrounded by a few inches of dirt in every direction. The first few days of sitting on that spot I noticed an ant or two, but never really cared to pay them any attention. After a few days I noticed something peculiar about the ants. What drew my attention was that there were multiple kinds of ants, and they weren’t fighting. They would walk up to each other, sniff, and continue working together to carry food back to their nest, which they shared. Some of these ants had gigantic, bulbous, bright red heads, with a dark brown body. Others were long, red, and skinny, while others still were standard black carpenter ants. After the first time that I noticed this, I went home to research the ants that were indigenous to Mexico and learned a neat fact.

Fire ants are aggressive creatures, yet they don’t always kill their enemies. Many times they will “recruit” other species of ants after a decisive win against their colony. After enough death has been extolled onto the opposing nest, they round up the survivors and use recruitment pheromones to force their newfound friends into working for their colony. These new “recruits” are enslaved and forced into labor camps, where they will eventually expire and are then used for food. Also, fire ants don’t typically have a one-queen colony. Since their tunnels can be anywhere from 50 to 100 feet long, they’ll sometimes have multiple queens, each with their own dedicated throne room. Once a queen dies, the colony does not go batshit insane, they simply reallocate the dead queen’s food to another chamber. Then they eat her…

I heard the familiar sound of cheap tires on the cobble stone parking lot, and looked up from my fascinating foray into the secret lives of ants. My taxi had arrived, and the driver looked way too excited to be stuck in a car all day when it was 80 degrees and humid. As we made our way out of the technology campus and barreled down the highway towards a wall of parked vehicles the driver started squawking on his CB radio. After a few exchanges with dispatch he turned around to face me and said, “Traffic accident!” in the way that you announce that your friend is coming over with a bottle of Maker’s Mark after the kegs are all tapped.

After nearly 30 minutes of stop and go driving we finally got to the scene of the accident, which was only about 10 miles away from our starting point. To be quite honest I don’t know the full extent of the damage, or how many cars were involved. I was only able to positively ID two of the damaged cars. The first was a small, black Chevy that looked much like an Aveo. This car was resting in the middle of the highway on its driver side door. There was a policeman standing on top of the car, peering out into the mass of backed-up cars. The second suspect car was some kind of Toyota pickup. This vehicle was teetering on the edge of the highway, with its front end dangling over an off-ramp that dropped down below street level. The damage to this vehicle was minimal, and it may have just so happened to received the wrong end of the stick, if you know what I mean.

Now, why did I say that I didn’t know how many cars were involved in this accident? Well, there were a number of cars parked on the side of the road, and there were people standing everywhere. Some people had walked over from buildings that lined the highway, and some were sitting in their cars peering out from the shoulders. Almost every single car that wasn’t moving however, had some type of damage to the body. I don’t know whether this damage was as a direct result of the accident, or if these folks simply had the misfortune of experience fender benders prior to this episode. Regardless, there was a lot of confusion and a lot of mayhem everywhere. I didn’t see any people that appeared hurt, or in need of assistance so at least there was one positive. After we passed the scene, it was a quick 20 minutes back to the hotel for some quality time in the Lobby bar.

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